So, we did a thing this year. Our 11 yo told us he really really wanted to go to a school. I can understand, when you move around a bunch like we have it gets lonely. Here we were in a new place and all the kids in our new parish go to school. There is not a huge homeschooling community here. Also, it is really the only way here that a kid can play football in high school without driving hours every day. We relented and sent him to our Parish School _TM.

Justifications: the school would have more rigorous academics, the school would have Christian kids, the school would have small class sizes so he could adapt better.

The reality: he took a step back academically as all the material they covered, except language arts, was a regurgitation of stuff he had already learned, the kids were terrible, the smaller class size helped but honestly its just not small enough to be a great learning environment.

About three weeks into the year, 12 yo started to complain about some of the kids. There was one boy in particular who was kicking him in the shins and legs every single day all day. I told him he needed to talk to the teacher. He said he did and it wasn’t stopping. About a week went by and I got a call from the school. 12 yo had gotten in a fight. Of course it was with Kicker, I was not surprised. We have always told our children to stand up for themselves.

This was a new world though, this school world and I had to teach him to navigate it. I told the prinicipal that the other kid was a daily kicker, apparently that doesn’t matter unless she can get one of the other kids to verify it. I was struck by how we were relying on children to validate an experience and using that as a basis for punishment. 12 yo, of course, got detention. They wanted to give him one week, I asked for two so that he understood how this was not acceptable. We went home with a list of things he should do if someone is kicking him repeatedly. No one else was punished.

A month or so later, a kid jumped on 12 yo’s back. 12 yo, of course, did not do anything the list of things to do suggested but instead punched back. He was suspended this time because no eyewitnesses could be found to validate his experience. I again reiterated to the principal that this was a continuation of the bullying that had already happened. Apparently, these kids had formed a club to try and get 12 yo expelled. No one else got in trouble.

Fast forward to last week. There were two incidents with the school. First, 12 yo wanted to fast for Ash Wednesday, and I mean not eat breakfast or lunch and have a small dinner. I was sent an email by his math teacher saying they were worried about him skipping a meal and was I okay with this. I responded that yes, I was okay with him skipping a meal. At the time, I thought that was really strange, but let it go. After school, the principal approached my car and told me that by law she has to have him make lunch. I stated that this was not what the email said. She offered to check into it. I rolled up the window and started driving off and the 12 yo tells me they made him buy lunch and eat it. Seriously.

We continue to drive, but I can see he is upset. I asked him if he was okay and he tells me there was an incident. He said a boy punched him once in stomach and once in the private parts. He said he did not retaliate and he tried to tell the teacher but apparently she couldn’t be bothered as it was the end of the day. I grilled him to make sure he in no way retaliated or did anything. He said they had been playing cops and robbers before, but that was a long time before and not really connected to the incident. Guess who was involved… the kicker. He apparently told the other kid to punch him.

I sent an email to the principal. The next day she calls me and tells me she has the vice principal and 12 yo in the office. She states that she can not validate any of the stories. Then she proceeds to say that 12 yo had put his hands on the other student holding them behind his back. I was like, yeah, they were playing cops and robbers. She then states that she had told 12 yo before that he can’t put his hands on someone else, so he gets detention.

I lost it. I completely and utterly lost it. I stood up at my desk at home. I raised my voice and said ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME. HE DID EVERYTHING YOU ASKED HIM TO DO AND HE GETS DETENTION. I WILL BE THERE IN 30 MINUTES. I hung up. I ran downstairs and told the 14 yo I had to go get his brother. I picked the kid up. The principal wouldn’t even look at me. This was wrong and she knew it.

I sent my letter of intent to homeschool the next day, I asked for a refund even for things they don’t refund (and I got it btw). I will never do that to my child again. What a joke the schools have become. The whole time I told them he was getting bullied (there were more things that I just didn’t write here) and they did nothing. There solution is that he should get hit and kicked and then report it, but if no other kid will validate his story then it didn’t happen.

That first night at home, I told my son that if anyone ever lays hands on him again he has my permission to deal with it like a man. And, btw, we started studying Russian history because he is interested and wants to deep dive. I love homeschool.